Who is Kinijalele?
Who is Savanna?
My brand is recovery, maybe not online, but certainly in my understanding of myself.
If I asked myself? I am Savanna, I am a fighter, a survivor of trauma, anorexia, borderline personality disorder and a person living in recovery from addiction. That’s who I know myself as, and my proudest attribute. I try not to beat myself up for other shortcomings in my life because I know in my heart that I have overcome so much.
So who am I when the girl on Instagram is a stranger? Who am I if I’m in a dark place, clawing at my skin because I feel the need to hurt myself, or wishing to be numbed by narcotics? Do I recognize the girl who sees herself in the mirror and hates the way she looks, when I’m clearly so comfortable and confident in the body that I built?
Absolutely. All my therapy and work on myself was never to kill the person I used to be, it was to learn how to cope with doubt, fears, anxieties and everything life throws my way.
My brand may be recovery, but recovery is a daily chore and some days are harder than others. The days where everything feels dark and I feel like one wrong move could trigger a full on relapse? Those are the days where I call my therapist, call my mom or call my partner, because I know that it’s never too late to take care of myself.